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Helping, inviting and pushing someone to act with 'à' + infinitive

Many French verbs that mean helping, inviting, pushing or forcing someone to do something share one pattern. The person comes straight after the verb as a direct object, and the action they are meant to do follows with à and an infinitive: aider quelqu'un à faire, inviter quelqu'un à faire, forcer quelqu'un à faire. So you say je l'aide à comprendre, not je lui aide.

English speakers trip over this in two ways. First, English uses to or nothing at all (help her prepare, force them to leave), so there is no clue that French needs à. Second, verbs like dire or demander work the other way round (dire à quelqu'un de faire), and learners mix the two patterns.

Word list
aiderA1 to help aider qn à faire; je l'aide à comprendre inviterA2 to invite inviter qn à faire; also + noun: inviter qn à dîner préparerB1 to prepare préparer qn à faire; to get someone ready to do condamnerB2 to sentence condamner qn à faire; also + noun: à la prison convierB2 to invite convier qn à faire; formal forcerB2 to force forcer qn à faire; passive often: être forcé de obligerB2 to force obliger qn à faire; passive: être obligé de encouragerC1 to motivate encourager qn à faire exhorterC1 to urge exhorter qn à faire; formal, speeches and news inciterC1 to urge inciter qn à faire; also + noun: inciter à la violence motiverC1 to motivate motiver qn à faire pousserC1 to urge pousser qn à faire; to drive someone to do
How it works

The pattern has three parts: verb, then person (direct object, no preposition), then à + infinitive. When the person becomes a pronoun, use the direct object pronouns me, te, le, la, nous, vous, les, never lui or leur.

Je l'aide à préparer son examen.
(I am helping her prepare for her exam.)

Compare this with the dire type, where the person takes à and the action takes de. The two patterns are mirror images, so it pays to learn each verb with its full pattern.

Je lui ai demandé de venir.
(I asked him to come.)

Rule of thumb: if the verb means that you act on the person to move them towards an action (help, invite, prepare, push, force), think quelqu'un à faire.

The words
Helping and inviting

Aider is the most common member and the one to learn first. Inviter works the same way, and convier is its more formal cousin, found in invitations and official language.

Nous vous invitons à entrer.
(We invite you to come in.)
Ils nous ont conviés à partager leur repas.
(They invited us to share their meal.)
Getting someone ready

Préparer quelqu'un à means preparing someone to face or do something.

Ce stage m'a préparé à affronter les vraies difficultés du métier.
(This internship prepared me to face the real difficulties of the job.)
Encouraging and pushing

Encourager and motiver are positive and gentle. Inciter and pousser mean leading or driving someone to act, often without judging whether that is good or bad. Exhorter is formal and strong, typical of speeches and news reports. The verb amener (to lead someone to do something) also belongs to this family.

Mes parents m'ont toujours encouragé à essayer.
(My parents always encouraged me to try.)
Ce professeur sait motiver ses élèves à travailler.
(This teacher knows how to motivate his students to work.)
Cette expérience les a incités à changer leurs habitudes.
(This experience encouraged them to change their habits.)
Qu'est-ce qui t'a poussé à partir ?
(What made you leave?)
Le président a exhorté les citoyens à rester calmes.
(The president urged citizens to stay calm.)
Forcing and sentencing

Forcer and obliger both mean making someone do something. Condamner in a legal context means sentencing someone to do something.

La pluie nous a forcés à rentrer.
(The rain forced us to go home.)
Personne ne t'oblige à répondre.
(Nobody is forcing you to answer.)
Le juge l'a condamné à payer une amende.
(The judge sentenced him to pay a fine.)
Watch out
No lui or leur

Because the person is a direct object, say je les aide and je l'encourage, never je leur aide.

Agreement

With avoir in the passé composé, the past participle agrees with a direct object placed before it: la pluie nous a forcés, il les a invitées.

The passive switches to de

With obliger, and often forcer, the passive usually takes de: je suis obligée de partir. Keep à for the active obliger quelqu'un à.

Nouns work too

Several verbs also take à + noun: inviter quelqu'un à dîner, condamner quelqu'un à la prison, inciter à la violence.

Not every similar verb

Presser quelqu'un de faire takes de, and autoriser takes à (autoriser quelqu'un à sortir). When in doubt, learn the verb with its full pattern.

Je suis obligée de partir tôt ce soir.
(I have to leave early tonight.)
Summary

When a verb means acting on a person to get them to do something (help, invite, prepare, encourage, push, force), put the person directly after the verb as a direct object and introduce their action with à + infinitive: je l'aide à comprendre, on les a forcés à partir. Use le, la, les, not lui, leur, and remember that verbs like dire and demander follow the opposite pattern, à quelqu'un de faire.