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Why German says 'ich rate dir', not 'ich rate dich'

When you tell someone what they may, may not or should do, German puts that person in the dative case and follows with a zu-infinitive: Ich rate dir, zu warten, Der Arzt verbietet mir, zu rauchen. Verbs like erlauben, verbieten, raten and empfehlen all work this way.

English speakers trip over this because English treats the person as a plain object: advise him, allow me, forbid them. It feels natural to translate that with the accusative, giving ich rate dich or sie erlaubt mich. Both are wrong. With these verbs the person is the one who receives the advice, permission or ban, and German marks receivers with the dative.

Word list
helfenA1 to help jemandem helfen, etwas zu tragen anbietenA2 to offer jemandem anbieten, etwas zu tun (subject does action) erlaubenA2 to let jemandem erlauben, etwas zu tun versprechenA2 to promise jemandem versprechen, etwas zu tun (subject does action) empfehlenB1 to recommend jemandem empfehlen, etwas zu besuchen ratenB1 to advise jemandem raten, zu warten untersagenB1 to forbid formal/official: jemandem untersagen, etwas zu tun verbietenB1 to forbid jemandem verbieten, etwas zu tun vorschlagenB1 to suggest separable: jemandem vorschlagen, etwas zu tun befehlenB2 to command jemandem befehlen, etwas zu tun gestattenB2 to let formal: jemandem gestatten, etwas zu tun anordnenC1 to command formal/official: jemandem anordnen, im Bett zu bleiben
How it works

The construction has three parts. First comes the verb. Then the person, in the dative (mir, dir, ihm, ihr, uns, euch, ihnen, Ihnen). Finally, after a comma, the action as a zu-infinitive at the end of the clause.

Der Arzt hat mir verboten, Zucker zu essen.
(The doctor forbade me to eat sugar.)

A useful way to think about it: something is being given to the person. That might be a permission, a ban, a piece of advice or a suggestion. Whoever gets something takes the dative, just as with geben.

Nouns change too. Der Chef becomes dem Chef, die Kinder becomes den Kindern (note the extra -n). With separable verbs, zu goes in the middle: aufzubleiben, loszufahren.

The words
Allowing

erlauben is the everyday verb. gestatten means the same but sounds formal and polite. You meet it in official notices and set phrases.

Meine Eltern erlauben mir, am Wochenende länger aufzubleiben.
(My parents allow me to stay up later at the weekend.)
Gestatten Sie mir, mich kurz vorzustellen.
(Allow me to introduce myself briefly.)
Forbidding

verbieten is the normal word. untersagen belongs to rules, contracts and official language.

Die Firma untersagt den Mitarbeitern, am Arbeitsplatz private E-Mails zu lesen.
(The company prohibits employees from reading private emails at work.)
Advising and suggesting

raten, empfehlen and vorschlagen all take a dative person.

Ich rate dir, früher loszufahren.
(I advise you to set off earlier.)
Die Lehrerin empfiehlt uns, jeden Tag ein bisschen zu lesen.
(The teacher recommends that we read a little every day.)
Mein Kollege hat mir vorgeschlagen, zusammen zu Mittag zu essen.
(My colleague suggested that we have lunch together.)
Ordering and helping

befehlen is strong and military-sounding. helfen always takes the dative, with or without an infinitive.

Der Kapitän befahl der Mannschaft, das Schiff zu verlassen.
(The captain ordered the crew to leave the ship.)
Kannst du mir helfen, den Schrank zu tragen?
(Can you help me carry the wardrobe?)
Watch out

Not every verb of this kind takes the dative. bitten (to ask), zwingen (to force) and auffordern (to call on) take the accusative, just like English.

Ich bitte dich, leise zu sein.
(I'm asking you to be quiet.)

The dative verbs are worth learning as a set, because accusative feels like the default to English speakers. abraten (to advise against) also takes the dative: Ich rate dir davon ab, ....

versprechen and anbieten also use a dative person plus zu-infinitive. The difference is who does the action. With these two it is the subject, not the person in the dative.

Ich verspreche dir, morgen anzurufen.
(I promise you I'll call tomorrow.)
Sie hat mir angeboten, mich zum Bahnhof zu bringen.
(She offered to take me to the station.)

Finally, you can leave the person out when it is obvious or general: Hier ist es verboten, zu parken.

Summary

If someone is given permission, a ban, advice, a suggestion, an order or help, that person goes in the dative, and the action follows as a zu-infinitive: Ich rate dir, zu warten, Sie erlaubt mir, zu gehen. Say mir, dir, ihm, not mich, dich, ihn. The main exceptions are bitten and zwingen, which take the accusative.