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Saying 'each other' in French with 'se', 'nous' and 'vous'

English has a handy little phrase for actions that go both ways: each other. French usually doesn't use a separate phrase for this. Instead, it takes an ordinary verb like voir, parler or aimer and adds a reflexive pronoun: se voir means to see each other, se parler means to talk to each other, s'aimer means to love each other.

This trips English speakers up in two ways. When speaking, they look for a word for each other and don't find one. When listening, they hear ils se voient and think it must mean they see themselves. Once you know the pattern, a whole set of everyday verbs can mean each other with no extra vocabulary.

Word list
aiderA1 to help s'aider = to help each other aimerA1 to like s'aimer bien = to like each other aimerA1 to love s'aimer = to love each other comprendreA1 to understand se comprendre = to understand each other connaîtreA1 to know se connaître = to know each other écrireA1 to write s'écrire = to write to each other parlerA1 to speak se parler = to talk to each other regarderA1 to look se regarder = to look at each other rencontrerA1 to meet se rencontrer = to meet each other répondreA1 to answer se répondre = to answer each other téléphonerA1 to call se téléphoner = to call each other voirA1 to see se voir = to see each other détesterA2 to hate se détester = to hate each other embrasserA2 to kiss s'embrasser = to kiss each other mentirA2 to lie se mentir = to lie to each other on se voit bientôtA2 see you soon on se voit bientôt = we see each other soon on se voit demainA2 see you tomorrow on se voit demain = we see each other tomorrow on se voit plus tardA2 see you later on se voit plus tard = we see each other later promettreA2 to promise se promettre = to promise each other se retrouverA2 to meet on se retrouve à midi = we meet up at noon écouterB1 to listen s'écouter = to listen to each other pardonnerB1 to forgive se pardonner = to forgive each other respecterB1 to respect se respecter = to respect each other saluerB1 to greet se saluer = to greet each other sourireB1 to smile se sourire = to smile at each other admirerB2 to look up to s'admirer = to admire each other haïrB2 to hate se haïr = to hate each other ignorerB2 to ignore s'ignorer = to ignore each other menacerB2 to threaten se menacer = to threaten each other se croiserC1 to intersect on s'est croisés = we ran into each other serrer la mainC1 to shake hands se serrer la main = to shake hands
How it works

Take a verb that normally has a person as its object, then put a plural reflexive pronoun in front of it: nous, vous or se. The pronoun means each other. Because an action between people needs at least two of them, the subject is always plural: nous, vous, ils, elles, or on in the sense of we.

  • Je parle à Paul. I talk to Paul.
  • Paul et moi, nous nous parlons. Paul and I talk to each other.
Nous nous parlons tous les jours.
(We speak to each other every day.)
Ils se voient souvent.
(They see each other often.)

In the passé composé, these verbs take être, like all pronominal verbs: nous nous sommes vus, ils se sont parlé.

The words
Seeing and meeting

Voir becomes se voir, and it appears in some very common goodbyes: on se voit bientôt, on se voit plus tard, on se voit demain. Literally, these mean we see each other soon, later, tomorrow. Rencontrer becomes se rencontrer, to meet each other, often for the first time. If you bump into someone by chance, use se croiser: on s'est croisés au marché. The same verb also describes roads or lines that cross each other.

On se voit demain !
(See you tomorrow!)
Nous nous sommes rencontrés à Lyon.
(We met in Lyon.)
Feelings and knowing

Aimer becomes s'aimer, to love each other. The same pattern gives se connaître, to know each other, and se comprendre, to understand each other. Sourire works too: ils se sourient, they smile at each other.

Marc et Julie s'aiment depuis dix ans.
(Marc and Julie have loved each other for ten years.)
Vous vous connaissez ?
(Do you know each other?)
Ils se comprennent sans parler.
(They understand each other without speaking.)
Communicating

Parler, téléphoner, écrire and répondre all follow the pattern: se parler, se téléphoner, s'écrire, se répondre.

On se téléphone ce soir ?
(Shall we call each other tonight?)
Elles se sont écrit pendant des années.
(They wrote to each other for years.)
Physical gestures and help

Embrasser gives s'embrasser, to kiss each other. Serrer la main gives se serrer la main, to shake hands. Aider gives s'aider, to help each other.

Ils se sont embrassés devant la gare.
(They kissed in front of the station.)
Les deux joueurs se serrent la main.
(The two players shake hands.)
Watch out
Themselves or each other?

Ils se regardent can mean they look at each other or they look at themselves. Context usually makes the meaning clear. When it doesn't, add l'un l'autre for two people or les uns les autres for a group. You can also add mutuellement.

Les enfants s'aident les uns les autres.
(The children help one another.)
Agreement in the past

With verbs that take a direct object, the past participle agrees with the subject: elles se sont vues, ils se sont embrassés. With verbs built with à, such as parler à, téléphoner à, écrire à, répondre à and sourire à, there is no agreement: elles se sont parlé, ils se sont souri.

Lookalikes

Some verbs are always pronominal and are not simply the each other version of a normal verb. Se disputer, se marier and s'entendre are examples. They follow their own rules and usually take avec when you name the other person.

Summary

To say each other in French, you usually don't need a separate phrase. Put nous, vous or se in front of a verb that normally takes a person as its object, and use a plural subject: ils se voient, on se parle, nous nous aimons. If the sentence could also mean themselves, add l'un l'autre.