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Reflexive pronouns that change a verb's meaning

When you learn Portuguese reflexive pronouns, you usually learn that they show an action done to oneself. For example, washing yourself or dressing yourself. However, some verbs do something completely different when you add a reflexive pronoun. Instead of pointing the action back at the subject, the pronoun changes the core vocabulary meaning of the verb.

Because English does not use pronouns in this way, English speakers often use the standard verb when they actually need the reflexive version. Learning these pairs as entirely separate vocabulary words will save you from some very confusing, and sometimes funny, translation mistakes.

Word list
chamar-seA1 to be called chamar-se = to be called encontrarA1 to find encontrar = to find encontrar-seA1 to meet encontrar-se = to meet up lembrar-seA1 to remember lembrar-se = to remember perderA1 to lose perder = to lose mudarA2 to change mudar = to change voltarA2 to return voltar = to return chamarB1 to call chamar = to call despedir-seB1 to say goodbye despedir-se = to say goodbye enganar-seB1 to make a mistake enganar-se = to be wrong lembrarB1 to remind lembrar = to remind mudar-seB1 to move mudar-se = to move parecerB1 to appear parecer = to seem parecer-seB1 to look like parecer-se = to resemble despedirB2 to fire despedir = to fire enganarB2 to deceive enganar = to deceive negarB2 to deny negar = to deny negar-seB2 to refuse negar-se = to refuse ocuparB2 to occupy ocupar = to occupy ocupar-seB2 to deal with ocupar-se = to deal with perder-seB2 to get lost perder-se = to get lost voltar-seB2 to turn around voltar-se = to turn around
Everyday actions

A classic example of this quirk is the pair encontrar and encontrar-se. Without the pronoun, it means to find a lost item or a location. With the pronoun, it means to meet up with a person, usually followed by the preposition com.

Eu encontrei as minhas chaves na gaveta.
(I found my keys in the drawer.)
Ela encontrou-se com o João no café.
(She met up with João at the café.)

Another very common pair is mudar and mudar-se. The regular verb means to change or alter something. But if you want to say that you are moving to a new house or city, you must use the reflexive form.

Ele quer mudar as regras do jogo.
(He wants to change the rules of the game.)
Nós vamos mudar-nos para o Porto.
(We are going to move to Porto.)

Finally, be careful with memory verbs. If you want to remind someone of something, use lembrar. If you want to remember something yourself, use the reflexive lembrar-se followed by the preposition de.

Podes lembrar o teu irmão da reunião?
(Can you remind your brother about the meeting?)
Eu não me lembro da tua morada.
(I do not remember your address.)
Work and social situations

Mixing up the next pair can cause panic at the office. The verb despedir means to fire someone from a job. If you just want to say goodbye to your colleagues at the end of the day, you absolutely must use the reflexive despedir-se.

O diretor vai despedir três pessoas hoje.
(The director is going to fire three people today.)
O Carlos foi despedir-se dos colegas.
(Carlos went to say goodbye to his colleagues.)

When describing people and things, you will often use parecer and parecer-se. The non-reflexive verb simply means to seem or to appear. The reflexive version means to physically look like or resemble someone else, and it pairs with the preposition com.

O livro novo parece muito interessante.
(The new book seems very interesting.)
O menino parece-se com o pai.
(The boy looks like his father.)

Lastly, we have a pair involving truth and permission. The verb negar means to deny that a fact is true. If you want to express that someone is refusing to do an action, you use the reflexive negar-se, typically followed by the preposition a.

O suspeito negou o crime.
(The suspect denied the crime.)
A atriz negou-se a participar no filme.
(The actress refused to participate in the film.)
Summary

When you see a familiar verb with a reflexive pronoun attached, do not assume it just means doing the action to yourself. Always check if the addition of se has given the verb a completely new vocabulary meaning, and memorize these pairs as distinct words.