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Reflexive verbs paired with 'de'

In Portuguese, some verbs come as a package deal. When you use them, you must include a reflexive pronoun (like me, te, or se) and follow it with the preposition de before stating the object. This combination is common, but it often trips up English speakers because the equivalent English verbs usually require neither.

For example, to say "I regret the decision" in Portuguese, you literally say "I regret myself of the decision". Forgetting either the pronoun or the de is a very common beginner mistake.

Word list
lembrar-seA1 to remember lembrar-se de algo esquecer-seA2 to forget esquecer-se de algo esquecer-seA2 to leave esquecer-se de algo afastar-seB1 to move away afastar-se de algo aproximar-seB1 to approach aproximar-se de algo/alguém cansar-seB1 to get tired cansar-se de algo certificar-seB1 to make sure certificar-se de que despedir-seB1 to say goodbye despedir-se de alguém envergonhar-seB1 to be ashamed envergonhar-se de algo/alguém esconder-seB1 to hide esconder-se de alguém queixar-seB1 to complain queixar-se de algo/alguém recordar-seB1 to remember recordar-se de algo recuperar-seB1 to recover recuperar-se de algo aperceber-seB2 to realize aperceber-se de algo arrepender-seB2 to regret arrepender-se de algo assegurar-seB2 to make sure assegurar-se de que dar-se contaB2 to realize dar-se conta de algo distanciar-seB2 to move away distanciar-se de algo divorciar-seB2 to divorce divorciar-se de alguém encarregar-seB2 to deal with encarregar-se de algo livrar-se deB2 to get rid of livrar-se de algo mudar-seB2 to move out mudar-se de lugar ocultar-seB2 to hide ocultar-se de alguém/algo ocupar-seB2 to deal with ocupar-se de algo compor-se deC1 to consist of compor-se de partes gabar-seC1 to brag gabar-se de algo vingar-seC1 to avenge vingar-se de algo/alguém vangloriar-seC2 to brag vangloriar-se de algo
Memory and thought

Several everyday verbs related to memory and realization follow this pattern. If you want to remember or recall something using lembrar-se or recordar-se, you must include de. The exact same rule applies when you forget something with esquecer-se, whether you lose the memory of it or simply leave something behind by accident.

Não me lembro do nome, mas lembro-me da cara.
(I do not remember the name, but I remember the face.)
Ela esqueceu-se das chaves no carro.
(She forgot the keys in the car.)

When you suddenly realize a fact or become aware of a situation, you can use aperceber-se or dar-se conta. Both of these also require the pronoun and the preposition de.

Eles não se deram conta do erro.
(They did not realize the mistake.)
Action, movement, and tasks

When you manage problems or handle tasks, you can use encarregar-se or ocupar-se. Keep in mind that while ocupar-se typically takes de, it also allows the preposition com. To ensure that everything is on track, use assegurar-se or certificar-se.

Vou encarregar-me dessa tarefa amanhã.
(I will handle that task tomorrow.)
Tens de te certificar de que está tudo pronto.
(You have to make sure that everything is ready.)

This pattern also appears when describing physical changes, distances, or states. You can draw near with aproximar-se, move away with afastar-se or distanciar-se, and vacate a place with mudar-se. When you recover from an illness, you use recuperar-se. When an object consists of multiple parts, use compor-se de, and to get rid of something entirely, use livrar-se de.

Nós afastamo-nos do perigo.
(We moved away from the danger.)
Feelings and social interactions

Many emotional responses and social interactions use this pattern. Internally, you might feel ashamed (envergonhar-se), feel sorry about an action (arrepender-se), or get tired of a situation (cansar-se).

Eu arrependo-me da minha decisão.
(I regret my decision.)

When interacting with others, you might complain (queixar-se), brag or boast (gabar-se or vangloriar-se), or even take revenge (vingar-se). Finally, when a relationship ends or people part ways, you will see this pattern when you say goodbye (despedir-se) or get a divorce (divorciar-se).

O cliente queixou-se do barulho.
(The client complained about the noise.)
Nós despedimo-nos dos nossos amigos e fomos para casa.
(We said goodbye to our friends and went home.)
Summary

When learning these verbs, memorize them as a complete set. The verb needs a reflexive pronoun that matches the subject, and it must be followed by the preposition de (which will combine with words like o or a) before introducing its target.