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Saying 'each other' in Spanish with 'nos', 'os' and 'se'

In English, 'each other' is often invisible. We say 'they kissed', 'we met' or 'they hugged', and everyone understands that the action went both ways. Spanish has no invisible version. To show that two or more people do something to one another, you add a plural reflexive pronoun: nos (we), os (you all, in Spain) or se (they, or you all). Se besaron means they kissed each other, and nos ayudamos means we help each other.

English speakers trip over this in two ways. Sometimes they leave the pronoun out because English doesn't need a word there. Other times they try to translate 'each other' word for word. Verbs like besar, abrazar, conocer and querer all work this way. Once you notice the pattern, it becomes automatic.

Word list
amarA1 to love se aman = they love each other ayudarA1 to help se ayudan = they help each other conocerA1 to know se conocen = they know each other conocerA1 to meet se conocieron = they met (each other) encontrarseA1 to meet se encuentran = they meet (each other) entenderA1 to understand se entienden = they understand each other (get along) escribirA1 to write se escriben = they write to each other hablarA1 to speak se hablan = they talk to each other; no se hablan = they're not speaking llamarA1 to call se llaman = they call each other mirarA1 to look se miran = they look at each other necesitarA1 to need se necesitan = they need each other quererA1 to love se quieren = they love each other reunirseA1 to meet nos reunimos = we met (up), no 'each other' needed in English verA1 to see se ven = they see each other besarA2 to kiss se besan = they kiss (each other) comprenderA2 to understand se comprenden = they understand each other golpearA2 to hit se golpean = they hit each other hacer dañoA2 to hurt se hacen daño = they hurt each other lastimarA2 to hurt se lastiman = they hurt each other odiarA2 to hate se odian = they hate each other pegarA2 to hit se pegan = they hit each other prometerA2 to promise se prometieron amor eterno = they promised each other eternal love telefonearA2 to call se telefonean = they phone each other verseA2 to meet nos vemos mañana = we'll meet (see each other) tomorrow abrazarB1 to hug se abrazan = they hug (each other) admirarB1 to respect se admiran = they admire each other adorarB1 to love se adoran = they adore each other buscarB1 to search se buscaron entre la gente = they looked for each other in the crowd cuidarB1 to take care of se cuidan = they take care of each other detestarB1 to hate se detestan = they hate each other echar de menosB1 to miss se echan de menos = they miss each other extrañarB1 to miss se extrañan = they miss each other herirB1 to hurt se hieren = they hurt (wound) each other perdonarB1 to forgive se perdonan = they forgive each other respetarB1 to respect se respetan = they respect each other saludarB1 to greet se saludan = they greet each other aborrecerB2 to hate se aborrecen = they loathe each other engañarB2 to cheat se engañan = they cheat on each other engañarB2 to deceive se engañan = they deceive each other darse la manoC1 to shake hands se dan la mano = they shake hands (with each other)
How it works

Take an ordinary verb that has an object, such as besar (to kiss) or ayudar (to help). Put it in a plural form and place nos, os or se in front of it. The pronoun works as the object, and the object is 'each other'. The pronoun has to match the subject: nosotros nos, vosotros os, ellos se, ustedes se.

The pronoun matters. If you leave it out, the sentence means the people are doing the action to somebody else, and Spanish will expect to hear who that is.

Ana y Luis se besan.
(Ana and Luis kiss each other.)
Ana y Luis besan a su bebé.
(Ana and Luis kiss their baby.)

Here is a rule of thumb. Whenever an English sentence says 'each other', or clearly means it without saying it, check that your Spanish verb has nos, os or se.

The words
Meeting and greeting

Conocer has two uses here. In the preterite, nos conocimos means 'we met' for the first time. In the present, nos conocemos means 'we know each other'. Encontrarse means to run into or meet up with each other. Saludar (to greet) and darse la mano (to shake hands) follow the same pattern. With ver, nos vemos is the everyday way to say 'see you'.

Nos conocimos en la universidad.
(We met at university.)
Mis vecinos y yo nos conocemos desde hace años.
(My neighbors and I have known each other for years.)
Cuando nos encontramos en la calle, nos saludamos y nos damos la mano.
(When we run into each other on the street, we greet each other and shake hands.)
¿Nos vemos mañana?
(See you tomorrow?)
Feelings

Querer (to love), odiar (to hate) and respetar (to respect) describe feelings that people often have for each other. Amar and adorar work the same way: mis padres se aman.

Los dos hermanos se quieren mucho.
(The two brothers love each other a lot.)
Mis jefes no se respetan, en realidad se odian.
(My bosses don't respect each other. In fact, they hate each other.)
Physical actions

These are the verbs where English most often drops 'each other': abrazar (to hug), besar (to kiss), mirar (to look at) and pegar (to hit).

Los novios se abrazan y se besan en la estación.
(The couple hug and kiss at the station.)
Mis hijos se pegan cuando juegan.
(My kids hit each other when they play.)
Se miraron sin decir nada.
(They looked at each other without saying anything.)
Help and contact

Ayudar (to help) and llamar (to call) round out the group. Escribirse (to write to each other) and entenderse (to understand each other) behave the same way.

Mi hermana y yo nos ayudamos con los deberes.
(My sister and I help each other with homework.)
Mis padres se llaman todos los días.
(My parents call each other every day.)
Watch out

A sentence like se miran can mean 'they look at each other' or 'they look at themselves', for example in a mirror. Context usually makes the meaning clear. When it doesn't, add el uno al otro (or la una a la otra for two women). Don't try to translate 'each other' word for word: Spanish has no such phrase.

Se miran el uno al otro.
(They look at each other.)
  • Se llaman can also mean 'their names are', because llamarse is how Spanish gives names. Se llaman todos los días can only mean calling each other.
  • Some verbs always take a pronoun, even with one person: casarse (me casé, I got married), pelearse, parecerse, despedirse. With these, the pronoun doesn't add 'each other'. It is simply part of the verb.
  • Hablar needs no pronoun to describe a conversation: hablamos ayer means 'we talked yesterday'. No se hablan means they aren't on speaking terms.
Summary

When people do something to one another, Spanish shows it with a plural reflexive pronoun, even where English says nothing: nos conocimos (we met), se besan (they kiss), nos ayudamos (we help each other). Without nos, os or se, the verb is aimed at someone else. If you need to make the meaning extra clear, add el uno al otro.